In the world of human affairs, there is no worse nuance than a boy at the age of 14. He is neither ornamental nor useful. It is like a tide of emotions that flows in the veins.

Adolescence is derived from the Latin word ‘Adolescere’ which means to grow or maturity. It’s a stage of physical and psychological human development that generally occurs during the period from puberty to adulthood adolescence can be defined biologically, as the physical transition marked by the onset of puberty and the termination of physical growth; cognitively, as changes in the ability to think abstractly and multi-dimensionally; or socially, as a period of preparation for adult roles.. It is a stage of rapid change. The study of adolescent development often involves interdisciplinary collaborations. .There is a complex set of developmental changes that take place at this stage:

• There is a sudden change in the physical characteristics of the adolescent Major pubertal and biological changes include changes to the sex organs, height, weight, and muscle mass, as well as major changes in brain structure and organization.. There is marked increase in the secretions of the hormones and sex glands which can disturb the adolescent.
• Cognitive advances encompass both increases in knowledge and in the ability to think abstractly and to reason more effectively.
• The sense of separation and alienation from parents as the primary attachment disrupts the important interpersonal relationships.
• Cognitive developments introduce radically new factors in the adolescent’s conception of their world and they tend to think in terms of “possibilities” and “choices” rather than the immediate realities of the childhood.
• Growth during adolescence is characterized by an increasing sense of freedom. This autonomy or realization of possibilities in turn can be frightening. The young person may feel lost, confused and lonely.
• Problems of self identity are especially acute at this age. Not only is the body changing physiologically but the teenager has to renovate, remodel, and reorganize the whole form…….his prior self concept is no longer adequate.
• There is a pronounced struggle for meaningfulness in the adolescent. If no satisfactory goal is found, the adolescent falls into states of boredom.
• There is a strong tendency for self assertion.
• This period is characterized as a period of exuberant imagination and day dreams.
• This is also a period of more complex emotions as admiration, awe, reverence, gratitude, scorn, shame, joy, contempt as well as aesthetic feelings.
• Girls are more interested in boys and boys are in girls…both are interested in the opposite sex.
• The adolescent is passionate about expressing own opinion and appreciation.
• There is a tendency to revolt against authority.
• There ia increased interest in and emphasis on physical attractiveness and good grooming.

 

Parents are the ones who’ve given birth to you, raised you, cared for you, and nurtured you throughout your younger years. There is something special and sacred about the relationship between children and parents, something that forever cements a memory that, in some way, shape, or form, informs how we experience the world.

However, having toxic parents can pose a challenge to this relationship.

Although it is obscure but there are some parents who are very narcissist and do not pay proper attention to their children, sometimes even abuse, either physically or verbally. This can lead to a lot of psychological problems that can be hard to deal with by oneself. It can feel heavy and burdensome and confusing. Because while you probably have love and care you also realize the way they impose hurt, pain, and ignorance on to you. And you feel that heaviness when they unfairly talk down to you, mock your accomplishments, or shame you for your choices. You might feel angry, frustrated, and trapped.

 Unless the situation is abusive or dangerous, you often feel like you have to make the best of it. And this is where the process of working towards acceptance comes in.

Teenagers have the most difficult time dealing with toxic parents, since they are still dependent on them, both financially and emotionally; they can’t move out and live on their own like adult children, and are more aware than preteen children.

If you are a teenager who has toxic parents, here are some things you should know or do that can help you deal with the situation better:

1.  Explain to your parent(s) how you feel

If you are having a strained relationship with your parents, the wisest thing to do first is to talk to them about it. It is possible that they are hurting you without realizing it at all, and once you explain it to them, they may change their behavior for better.

2.  Rely more on your other parent if only one is toxic

It is rare to have both parents as toxic. If only one of your parents is toxic, it is better to talk to the other parent about it. If you are able to have a better connection with your other parent—rely more on them for support and maintain considerable distance from the abusive parent.

3.  Don’t shout back- won’t help

When things are going out of control and the toxic parent is behaving very irresponsibly and aggressively, it is a natural instinct to reflect the same behavior to them. This won’t help at all. The best thing to do in such situation is to maintain calm and simply don’t engage in an aggressive war of words, mainly because if they are toxic, they won’t react positively to this.

4. Give the message through non-aggressive gestures

If they seem to be in a very aggressive mood, and are abusing you, either verbally or physically, instead of being violent yourself, it is better to show gestures that make them understand that you are hurt. Do not aggravate the situation e.g. simply walking away if they are uncontrollably ranting.

5. Ask adult relatives to intervene

It is possible that the parent(s) is not responding to you. But they are more likely to respond to an adult, for example, their own brothers and sisters or parents. If you are suffering even a little, and talking to your parents directly didn’t help, it is highly advisable to seek advice from your adult relatives and asking them to intervene.

6. Consult a mental health professional

If intervention from adult relatives does not help either, a mental health professional might. With the help of your adult relative, talk to a therapist about it, and try and convince your parent(s) to talk to them as well.

7. The good child- bad child syndrome—it’s not your fault

Your siblings may be going through the same thing you’re going through. Talk to them about it, and know how they feel about it. Sometimes they may not feel how you feel, because your parent is biased towards them. It is not uncommon for toxic & narcissist parents to like their one child better than the other. The reason for this is mostly that one child is always willing to obey their command; no matter how unreasonable the command may be, while the other child may not be willing to do the same.

8..Why are they narcissist and toxic, if they are?

By nature, parents are loving and caring. If they are behaving this way, there’s a reason for it. Most parents who are toxic and narcissist are so because they didn’t experience love and caring in their own childhood. They simply cannot connect to their children, or understand what parenthood is about.

If your parents had been very loving and caring in general, but have been behaving miserably for only some time, they may be going through a phase of depression and stress.

9. Try and be in their shoes; accept the situation

Many times, no matter how many attempts are made to improve the situation, it is not always possible to make the toxic parent change their behavior. In such cases, it is always the best to accept the situation as it is, and try to get independent of them as soon as possible.

10. When to know there is no problem at all

Sometimes, it is possible that you are only assuming that your parent(s) is narcissist and behaving badly with you. It is normal for parents to exercise some control over their children, solely for the benefit of the children themselves. Their intention may not be to abuse you or hurt you in any way at all. If this is the case, following the above tips will help you sort this problem out.

 

Loneliness is inevitable and felt by all individuals in varying degrees. The process of deepest inquiry….leads us to recognize that we are finite, that we must die, and that we are free and the individual is inexorably alone. Psychologists have stated loneliness as one of the four primary concerns of existential man

Loneliness is not a new phenomenon. Countless authors have offered passing insights and also provided illuminating descriptions of loneliness feelings, and agony associated with loneliness. The pervasiveness of loneliness as a theme in poetry, fiction and drama attests to its importance in the human experience. Although philosophers, priests, poets, and song writers have written about loneliness, it has been largely neglected as a topic of research until the last 20 years or so.

Ironically and indeed perhaps even tragically, despite its obvious relevance to counseling and clinical psychology it has not achieved the level of a clinical heading. This is extremely unfortunate because this means that we are neglecting an essential dynamic component, if not the major contributing factor underlying anxious and aggressive state of consciousness.

Mijuskovic maintained that “all men are activated by a fear of aloneness -loneliness-and that every human thought, passion, and action derives from this one original, ubiquitous source, or fund, of frightened psychic energy.”

This emotion has not been studied extensively or thoroughly, despite its relevance to clinical psychology and social psychology. The publication of Robert Weiss’s book “Experience of Loneliness: Studies in Emotional and Social Loneliness.” was a critical event in awakening behavioral scientists and therapists to the urgency of the problem. In the last two decades the social scientists have begun investigating this complex, multifaceted human condition. There is a general consensus among researchers on three fundamental characteristics of loneliness

• Loneliness experience is subjective, averse and detrimental to psychological well being.
• Loneliness is in inevitable and a pervasive phenomenon in contemporary society.
• Loneliness is distinct from social isolation                                                                              What renders loneliness totally different from isolation is that loneliness refers to the perceived relational deficit and the trust and hope in one’s ability to reacquire the object of love, while in isolation on the other hand ,which certainly is a condition of separateness’, distressing emotions or the painful longing for the absence of love object are not perceived. The person will not appear to have any kind of apprehension concerning social relationships, in fact the person will behave, to certain extend self sufficiently.

Teenagers  mostly have difficult and strained relationships, but if a child has Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), then it can complicate the situation further. Several precautions must be taken with  ADHD children to make sure that we don’t make their situation worse. It is a good thing that ADHD is now more discussed, and these children are not neglected while being dubbed  as notorious.

As a parent or guardian, you may want to take care of the following things if you have a child with ADHD:

Children with ADHD show signs of inattention, hyperactivity, and/or impulsivity in specific ways. These children:

• • Are in constant motion
  • Squirm and fidget
  • Do not seem to listen
  • Have trouble playing quietly
  • Often talk excessively
  • Interrupt or intrude on others
  • Are easily distracted
  • Do not finish tasks

   

As a parent or guardian, you may want to take care of the following things if you have a child with ADHD:

1. Keep calm and don’t yell

Yelling at your children will only make the situation worse for them. It is important to keep your calm while talking to them, and don’t use phrases like “I told you so!” when something goes wrong. Be patient while talking to them, listen carefully, and make them feel like they can talk to you about anything.

2. Don’t pressurize them over poor grades

ADHD children are always likely to not be able to perform well academically. Putting too much unrealistic pressure over them for grades won’t help anyone. Accept their performance, and help them do better by tackling the problems they may be having in studies instead of blaming them.

3.Regulate their driving

Due to their inability to pay proper attention and taking impulsive decision, teenagers with ADHD are much more likely to be involved in a road accident than others. Make sure you don’t let them drive out with irresponsive friends, or alone. In the first few years of their driving, it is always better to let them drive with family members.

4. Do keep a watch on them for alcoholism or drug abuse

Children with ADHD are also susceptible to be driven into taking alcohol or drugs due to peer pressure or mere persuasion. Alcohol or drugs can further make their ADHD worse; therefore it is very important to keep a watch for such activities.

 5. Support them in improving on their hobbies.

Children with ADHD are much more likely to do better professionally in something that they can pay proper attention to, without being distracted too much. Developing their hobbies may help them make a profession out of it – arts, music, sports, or anything they enjoy doing.

6. Let them know when their behavior is good or bad

While yelling doesn’t help, it is necessary to let them know how their behavior is being seen by you. Reward them with something they like when their behavior is good. When their behavior is bad, you can let them know that it is not acceptable by doing things such as cutting off television time.

7. Keep in touch with their school

Let the school know of their condition, and seek constant feedback from them on their behavior and performance in school. Keep in touch with their school to be fully aware of what is going on with them.

8. Set time for electronics use

Electronic items such as television, mobile phone, laptop, etc. are a major distraction. Don’t let your child use them for very long duration. Set times, for example, only 1 hour television daily, limited computer use, and such. Don’t take them off electronics completely, or else they might get very irritated, and even more distracted. A limited use will ensure that there are minimum distraction while studying, sleeping, etc.

9. Help them socialize

Children with ADHD have a very hard time socializing, especially with their peers. Help them socialize with people. Invite some of their more understanding and mature friends at your house, and let them spend time with your child.

Let them know you’re there for them

If you want to have a constructive relationship with them, it is pivotal to make them feel like they can always share anything and everything with you without being unfairly judged. This will boost their confidence significantly, and help them perform better.

 

 

Traditionally linked with old age, eating disorders are common among teenagers. Eating Disorders can severely affect teenagers and older children .It is an illness that leads people to overeat, starve themselves or adopt other unhealthy behaviors surrounding food and their body image. Children these days are very conscious about their looks, and are somewhat obsessed with having the perfect body shape. This sometimes leads them to make such changes to their eating habits and this can interfere with their daily life and can if left untreated can cause serious health and psychological issues.

10 facts about eating disorders that you should know as a parent, guardian, or a teenager

 Eating Disorder is becoming an Epidemic

Eating disorders are very prominent in teenagers, especially girls, who are more conscious of their looks. As per a research conducted in the USA, more than half of teenage girls and more than one third of teenage boys suffer from eating disorders.

                                                                                        Eating Disorders are directly related to their self-esteem

Eating disorders in teenagers are connected with emotional ill-being. Usually they develop eating disorders when they are undergoing an emotionally difficult time. They are much more likely to binge eat when they are undergoing stress, anxiety, or facing any other psychological problems. Their self-esteem is also hurt by strained family relationship, subjection to constant criticism from parents about body fat or eating habits, genetics, and sports eligibility, due to which later on they develop eating disorders.

 Bullying is the major cause of Eating Disorders

Teenagers are very exposed to and affected by bullying, especially by their peers. Being bullied by their peers for being overweight terribly hurts their self-esteem, and puts them at a high risk of developing an eating disorder.

The unreasonable and factitious standards built around body figure by media also strengthen this bullying.

4.There’s not just one type of eating disorder

Most people are aware of only Binge eating as an eating disorder. But there are more. Other than Binge eating, Anorexia and Bulimia are the other two prominent eating disorders.

In Anorexia, people may stop eating certain foods or entire food types, mostly due to a fear of gaining weight. They may have Anorexia even if they are underweight in reality but still think they are overweight, and it tends to affect teenagers the most. In Bulimia, people tend to binge eat. The binge eating is always followed by purging, i.e. somehow taking the food out of the body. They may vomit, use enemas or laxatives, to take out the food that they just ate. Teenagers who have Binge eating disorder also tend to binge eat but it is not followed by purging, although most binge eaters feel guilty afterwards.

 5.The Symptoms for Eating Disorders look very casual

People who have eating disorders usually try to hide the fact that anything is abnormal, or that they are suffering. Therefore it can be a little difficult to know when someone is having an eating disorder, but the behaviors and conditions that often imply eating disorders can be easily observed by family members and close friends, such as: intensively dieting even when they are underweight, constant obsession with weight, weakness due to improper intake of food, binge eating, absence of menstrual cycle (in female) in absence of other reasons, hair loss, compulsively exercising even when the circumstances do not permit so, among others. These are all very common symptoms that can imply a lot of other problems too; therefore professional medical advice must be sought.

6.Eating Disorders can severely affect health

Initially eating disorders may not seem to be a big deal, but if left untreated for a long time they may lead to havoc results. Being underweight or overweight, weak bones that severely increase the risk of fracture, kidney and heart diseases are the most common repercussions of eating disorders. Eating disorders are also often accompanied by other psychiatric issues such as anxiety disorders, depression, and sometimes even substance abuse (smoking, alcohol, and drugs).

7.Seek Therapy

Intervention is necessary for eating disorders. The symptoms of eating disorders can be observed by people close to the person, and a professional therapist can be contacted for a medical analysis to determine whether it is an eating disorder or not and its treatment. Intervention in initial days can prevent further problems that may arise as a result of it.